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 The Top 5 Best Worst Movies Ever

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TheDevilsAdvocate
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PostSubject: The Top 5 Best Worst Movies Ever   Mon May 31, 2010 1:35 am

I, like any geek, love nothing more than a movie that is so bad it is actually great. These movies provide far more entertainment than well executed, straightforward movies. There is a science to the so bad they’re good movies, many things go into the making of an excellent terrible movie. First it’s almost always a sci-fi, that is followed up with actors so bad they couldn’t make it in the soft core porn industry. Terribly written and delivered lines, and of course some of the worst special effects ever seen. The final product is then gift wrapped into great little titles like “Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus”. Anything with the words: mega, giant, super, or attack is a can’t miss horrible sci-fi movie.


Here are a few honorable mentions: Children of the Corn, Troll 2, Earthquake, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha, Dagon, House of the Dead, Willow, Tremors, and hopefully many more to come.


Special mention: Any Godzilla movie made in Japan- When you and everyone you know hates you, there is no better way to kill a Saturday than smoking weed and playing a game I call “what the fuck are they saying?” How to play- just ignore the subtitles, and improv what they are saying. Gay? I know, but it’s interesting under the right condition.


5. Savage Planet- the movie starts on earth, but they are running out of oxygen… so they teleport a group of people to another planet to gather oxygen, then out of nowhere alien bears attack. That’s right I said alien bears. I don’t know why. I guess they are supposed to be genetically mutated bears; however they didn’t waste the time to make the look any different from a regular bear. It is truly awful and pointless; everything needed to be a classic sci-fi movie.


4. Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis- simply put, possibly the dumbest evil plot ever scripted. It was as thought out as South Parks underpants gnomes plot. On top of that it has many ridiculous sequences (many that are escaping me right now) but one of which is after fighting zombies for an hour in the movie, one guy finds his little brother with his head half eaten and says: “What happened!?”… Who knows? It could have been so many things…


3. Jason and the Argonauts (the original)- some of the best bad special effects ever, I don’t know why they even tried. Ridiculous creatures, like a giant bronze statue like creature with a nail in its foot, that when removed cause it to bleed to death. Why build in a fucking off switch in a huge creature and make it so easy to get too?


2. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon- this movie is so bad that half way through the director gave up and decided to add things to the movie that weren’t supposed to be there. Many clips from this movie can be found on youtube, one of which was a sexual joke that was not meant to be in the movie, but the director figured it couldn’t hurt. The special effects in this movie were amazing as they always are in these movies. My favorite part being when a man on a jet ski drove straight into the sharks mouth, and was swallowed whole, jet ski and all.


1. Escape From L.A.- The sequel featuring the classically bad tough guy hero “Snake Plissken” saving the day once more. This movie features some of the worst special effects around, but even worse is the plot and the events that occur in this masterpiece. Snake surfs a tidal wave, plays basketball to save his life from the diabolical Cuervo Jones, who uses the sadistic and vicious torture method of handcuffing Snake Plissken to a treadmill and making him walk very slow, on a slight incline!!!


Last edited by TheDevilsAdvocate on Mon May 31, 2010 2:28 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: one more honorable mention   Mon May 31, 2010 2:28 am

I forgot to give an honorable mention to possibly the best-worst tv show ever made: the 1960's series "Batman" featuring the immortal Adam West.
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